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Author Topic: "Grey Pride"  (Read 4536 times)

Veuve

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"Grey Pride"
« on: January 31, 2011, 01:41:09 AM »
An Irish Times article from last year. My favorite line is "Viva Las Greyas."  :D

http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/magazine/2010/0703/1224273601676.html

Women always try to tame themselves as they get older, but the ones who look best are often a little wilder.-- Miuccia Prada
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Kelly

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Re: "Grey Pride"
« Reply #1 on: January 31, 2011, 08:12:18 AM »
Quote
Then came Body Shop henna mixes, dark green paste with a grassy smell and cowpat consistency, leaving seaweed-green tide marks on the skin

I can so relate to that!

Quote
Our faces get older but our hair stays permanently youthful as we rage against the fading of the follicle.

:lol:

If my hair looked like Ciara's, I would let it go grey. (And, of course, she's only 37.) Mia's, on the other hand, not so much. It washes her out, which is strange because we should always look best in our natural colors. As in, I should have never ever ever have started dying my hair in the first place. Perhaps a bit of face-brightening lipstick would transform her.

In the second image below, I do think she looks better grey than blonde.

Also, these fully grey women are young! I still have less than 10% grey in my hair, and only around the temples, so when I go fully grey, my face will be as old as my hair. I think it might be easier to go grey if your face is still very young.

I really want to try it, but I worry about looking old in the workplace, and because I am not thin, I worry I will just look like a fat granny. I guess I could always die it if I found myself on the job market again.

Quote
Sometimes I look down supermarket queues and think it’s so obvious that all these women are dyeing their hair. Who are we trying to fool?

:(

Interesting that the article was written by a man. I didn't see that coming.

makeupmaven

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Re: "Grey Pride"
« Reply #2 on: January 31, 2011, 08:16:17 AM »
I think the major difference between the two women in the photo is that the one on the left has healthy-looking hair. The one on the right looks like her hair has a lot of damage. I think a cut is in order to get rid of the damage.
  • Complexion: fair neutral
  • Eyes: boring brown
  • Hair: dark brown (over the grey), coarse, naturally curly but treated with keratin

Kelly

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Re: "Grey Pride"
« Reply #3 on: January 31, 2011, 08:20:56 AM »
I agree. Mia's overall look drags everything down, from the wispy long hair to the trench coat. Even her face is long, so she needs something uplifting. An immediate improvement would be a loose chignon, a deep marine turtleneck, and a mauve lipstick.

She was quoted as refusing to wear mushroom or taupe colors, but I think something in the plummy-brown would suit her much better than that pale grey. She is monotone from head to toe and the pinkness in her skin isn't enough contrast.

milla

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Re: "Grey Pride"
« Reply #4 on: January 31, 2011, 08:29:00 AM »
I think the major difference between the two women in the photo is that the one on the left has healthy-looking hair. The one on the right looks like her hair has a lot of damage. I think a cut is in order to get rid of the damage.
I agree. A good cut makes all the difference.

Veuve

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Re: "Grey Pride"
« Reply #5 on: January 31, 2011, 01:44:20 PM »
I agree about Mia's hair needing a cut-- I just see some yellow on the ends that I personally wouldn't want to keep around. I have seen other pictures of Mia, though, that are more flattering.

I think it's only the last part of the article that was written by a male hair stylist...?
Women always try to tame themselves as they get older, but the ones who look best are often a little wilder.-- Miuccia Prada
www.shopquotidienne.com

cara4art

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Re: "Grey Pride"
« Reply #6 on: January 31, 2011, 04:01:11 PM »
ITA about the hair cut, and MIA needs to LOSE that raincoat. Neither the style, nor the color, does anything for her. Here she is a tall attractive woman hiding out in such a garment. A coat in a better fit, and a nicer color would do wonders in the clothing department. A slightly edgy inverted bob with some bangs(or not) would look really cool on her and get rid of the yellow ends. Her waves would show more too, making it more interesting.
One big problem with hairstylists and we might have touched on this before in other threads is the fact that many seem to have the "granny glasses" on, giving one a safe bland haircut that's virtually guaranteed to make one disappear. Hence the importance of finding a hipper hair cutter. Hair that's well-cut and looks interesting looks good almost no matter what the color. But there are some women who REALLY don't look good with grey hair, or they look good in spite of it. Then there are others who look lovely - personally I envy these, as even a little bit of grey just washed me out, even with makeup on. The people who look good with it tend to have to complexion that goes with it, usually on the cool side.

Kelly

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Re: "Grey Pride"
« Reply #7 on: January 31, 2011, 04:26:23 PM »
My mother was a warm-toned natural auburn head, and she looked absolutely terrible with grey hair. She is still dying it at 72, a touch more red than strawberry blonde.

anne

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Re: "Grey Pride"
« Reply #8 on: February 01, 2011, 01:55:07 AM »
Totally agree with Veuve!
  • Complexion: NC 15 winter, NC 20 summer. Still oily.
  • Eyes: Blue
  • Hair: *Very* fine + wavy. Middle / dark blonde (my natural hair color) with some highlights.

LemonMyrtle

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Re: "Grey Pride"
« Reply #9 on: February 01, 2011, 07:08:17 AM »
Ooh, so many unread posts to choose from, but naturally I home in on the one about grey hair!

What a long article. I agree with the general consensus in this thread re who looks good and who needs a haircut.

If the shade of grey suits the wearer, I wonder if an unflattering grey hairstyle truly looks worse than an unflattering brunette, blonde or auburn hairstyle? Is grey really less forgiving or is it just a perception?

Take a man's face with 10 wrinkles and a woman's face with 10 wrinkles. The woman's face will probably be perceived as more lined or older-looking than the man's, even though it isn't. Maybe something like this happens when people see grey hair that's in need of a cut compared with another shade of hair in need of a cut.

One woman in the article said she didn't feel smug about going grey. That made me think. There are probably some who do feel ever so slightly superior because they no longer colour their hair just as there are women who feel smug because they don't wear makeup! I don't. Promise.
  • Eyes: Hazel
  • Hair: Grey
You're never too old to learn something stupid.

Veuve

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Re: "Grey Pride"
« Reply #10 on: February 01, 2011, 02:07:48 PM »

If the shade of grey suits the wearer, I wonder if an unflattering grey hairstyle truly looks worse than an unflattering brunette, blonde or auburn hairstyle? Is grey really less forgiving or is it just a perception?

Take a man's face with 10 wrinkles and a woman's face with 10 wrinkles. The woman's face will probably be perceived as more lined or older-looking than the man's, even though it isn't. Maybe something like this happens when people see grey hair that's in need of a cut compared with another shade of hair in need of a cut.


I was looking at The Sartorialist the other day and thinking the same thing about men and women. Why is it that I perceive older men as "less old" than the women?! Unfair. And I'm hoping this perception is changing as we see more examples of vibrant, modern older women.

Women always try to tame themselves as they get older, but the ones who look best are often a little wilder.-- Miuccia Prada
www.shopquotidienne.com

Tupelo

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Re: "Grey Pride"
« Reply #11 on: February 20, 2011, 12:51:33 PM »
I recently decided I'm never going gray. My grays are an ashy mix of silver and sooty hues that in no way flatter my fair, warm complexion. They are mixed with pink-toned strands (I was born a strawberry blond). I feel a little cheated that "going gray" means having to adapt to hair that is unflattering to my complexion.

My stylist told me last week that there are "toning" products to counteract this, but really... why bother. If I am going to be putting chemicals in my hair to alter its color, I think I'll stick with what I'm doing now. :)
  • Complexion: Normal. Fair/warm. NC 15-20 (MAC speak)
  • Eyes: Blue green
  • Hair: Dark blonde, thick, long, graying at temples
Paddle faster. I hear banjo music.

Kelly

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Re: "Grey Pride"
« Reply #12 on: February 20, 2011, 01:07:38 PM »
My mother (a natural redhead) didn't go grey, either. The coolness of her strands clashed pretty badly with the warmth of her skin.

In the end, it's all about making a choice that feels right for you. I am pretty sure I won't go grey, either. My natural hair color is light ash brown with both gold and red highlights, so I suspect grey won't be flattering on me, either. I'll probably end up going for dark ash blonde, or keeping the depth of the blonde close to the grey so when it grows out it won't be as noticeable.

I seriously need to be able to color it myself when I am more than 50% grey. I can't be bothered going to the salon every 3 weeks and fork out $100 for color and tip. No way.

makinalist

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Re: "Grey Pride"
« Reply #13 on: February 20, 2011, 02:32:08 PM »
I totally understand why many of you would choose not to go gray.  If mine did not suit me I wouldn't be so hard-headed as to keep it anyway.  I would be happy if society considered gray a viable option for some of us, without thinking it automatically makes us old biddies.

I feel fortunate, however, not to be wrestling with the dilemma of coloring.  Gray hair can be very stubborn - it is often color-resistant.  Zuzu is right that she will be better off to color at home.  I hope that works out for her.

Changing texture can be a problem as well.  That's another way I am lucky, I guess - mine stayed exactly the same.

I do get compliments on my hair sometimes, but then there is always the helpful teenager who asks why I don't color it.  Don't I realize it would make me look younger? :gaah:
  • Complexion: NW20 (cool light), normal-to-dry
  • Eyes: Blue-gray
  • Hair: Silver; thin, fine, straight
The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.  ~Ambrose Bierce

Tupelo

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Re: "Grey Pride"
« Reply #14 on: February 20, 2011, 02:41:08 PM »
I'm not sure the percentage of my total gray. Judging from my part, only, it's about 80%. The texture of my gray is no different than my hair's texture has ever been. It's not coarse.

I do color it myself, and because the color's only on my hair for 10 minutes total, it's probably less damaging than salon coloring. My stylist agrees. I use Excellence to Go from L'Oreal. Five minutes for my roots, then mix the remaining solution with an equal amount of warm water and squish/crunch it through the length. Leave that on 5 minutes, then hit the shower. I only need to do this every 6 weeks or so. I think I can live with this routine for a long time. Especially now that my hair is no longer to my waist!
  • Complexion: Normal. Fair/warm. NC 15-20 (MAC speak)
  • Eyes: Blue green
  • Hair: Dark blonde, thick, long, graying at temples
Paddle faster. I hear banjo music.

makinalist

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Re: "Grey Pride"
« Reply #15 on: February 20, 2011, 03:15:40 PM »
Tupelo - Does this look as if you have highlights in your hair?  I would think it might, since your hair is not all one color.

I experimented with this at home when I first started going gray (in my 20's).  I would use an ash blonde on my brown hair, making the gray look like blonde streaks.  My gray came in that way, all scattered out, so I had fun with that for a while. 

I stopped around age 30, when temporary color couldn't keep up anymore.  People still thought I was coloring it anyway.  Every once in a while someone still asks me if I do.

I say, to each her own.  In our quest to legitimize gray hair, we shouldn't be making anyone feel she ought to join us.
  • Complexion: NW20 (cool light), normal-to-dry
  • Eyes: Blue-gray
  • Hair: Silver; thin, fine, straight
The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.  ~Ambrose Bierce

Kelly

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Re: "Grey Pride"
« Reply #16 on: February 20, 2011, 03:43:15 PM »
I grey hair resistant or does it not take up color because the hair shaft is coated with product?

Last time I colored my hair with Clairol Natural Instincts, it was if I hadn't done a thing. Not a single grey hair around my temples and part took up any color.

I waited a week and then spent three days in a row using a clarifying shampoo and no conditioner or other hair product. Then I dyed it again, and this time it took perfectly.

Veuve

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Re: "Grey Pride"
« Reply #17 on: February 20, 2011, 03:47:21 PM »
Or as my friend says, "whatever blows your skirt up!".

I don't know why people think that they have to justify their choice by making it the only correct one...

As for me, I'm trying to go more silver. But I think I need to use a demi on it because the texture is more wiry than my other hair. I'm trying to hit on the right tone to use.

I think it's worth giving natural hair a try, at least to see what it looks like. Some of us have colored our hair so long we have no idea what's under there! Then you can always go back-- but I've heard that many women are pleasantly surprised.
Women always try to tame themselves as they get older, but the ones who look best are often a little wilder.-- Miuccia Prada
www.shopquotidienne.com

Kelly

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Re: "Grey Pride"
« Reply #18 on: February 20, 2011, 03:50:29 PM »
Some of us have colored our hair so long we have no idea what's under there!

You can say that again!

Still won't do it, not while I am working in this industry. I'm already fat, so I can't afford the grey hair, no matter how pretty it might be.

I do look forward to having natural hair one day, though. Dying so frequently can't be good for us. At least when I was much younger, I only did it every 3-6 months, if that. If I am maintaining colored hair over a full head of grey, I am guessing it takes as frequent touchups as a bleached-blonde brunette!

cara4art

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Re: "Grey Pride"
« Reply #19 on: February 20, 2011, 05:16:51 PM »
For the record, I've NEVER had professional color. In the beginning years ago, I made a few mistakes, namely going a little too dark but then I wised up and good input along the way which really helped set me on the right track(going brighter and redder)for my coloring. Think of all the money I've saved by doing it myself! However, I wouldn't recommend DIY if doing highlights(those home highlighting kits can be really iffy I've heard), or going more than a level or two lighter or darker. Reds can be tricky too, unless one has gotten the right mix for one's coloring(which I have)as well as natural-looking grey coverage.

Currently I use a mix of 3 Revlon Colorsilk colors - great color and so cheap too! Who knew that something that cheap could be that good? It's permanent, but has no ammonia in it.

No one should have to put up with looking washed-out if one doesn't want to, IMO.

Tupelo

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Re: "Grey Pride"
« Reply #20 on: February 20, 2011, 05:59:45 PM »
Tupelo - Does this look as if you have highlights in your hair?  I would think it might, since your hair is not all one color.

I experimented with this at home when I first started going gray (in my 20's).  I would use an ash blonde on my brown hair, making the gray look like blonde streaks.  My gray came in that way, all scattered out, so I had fun with that for a while.  

I stopped around age 30, when temporary color couldn't keep up anymore.  People still thought I was coloring it anyway.  Every once in a while someone still asks me if I do.

I say, to each her own.  In our quest to legitimize gray hair, we shouldn't be making anyone feel she ought to join us.

Ann, the Excellence is 100% gray, permanent color. So, my grays are dark blond, the same as the rest of my hair. But I do keep a little gray around my temples, because I really like it. I just coat them with some Vaseline or thick hair serum before the coloring process.

Mixing the remainder of the color with an equal amount of water (instead of combing it through the length, full strength), gives me some variegation of dark blond throughout the length, making it have depth of color and tone - more natural, in other words. But no real highlights.
« Last Edit: February 20, 2011, 07:05:43 PM by Tupelo »
  • Complexion: Normal. Fair/warm. NC 15-20 (MAC speak)
  • Eyes: Blue green
  • Hair: Dark blonde, thick, long, graying at temples
Paddle faster. I hear banjo music.

makeupmaven

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Re: "Grey Pride"
« Reply #21 on: February 20, 2011, 08:23:21 PM »
Since I color my hair at home every month, I alternate between semi-permanent (Natural Instincts) and permanent (going to try the new foam version of Nice & Easy next). I find the greys around the temple to be very stubborn, especially with the semi-perm color. I used to use dark brown but have switched to medium ash brown since the dark brown builds up to almost black after a while. I don't know the percentage, but I am at least 50% grey probably more.

I had a discussion with my friends in NJ this weekend about this very topic. All the women color their hair and no one is ready to go grey. I can't say "never" but I don't see my self letting the grey grow out. I just don't have the right texture for it. Also, since my hair is so dark, it would be quite a drastic change.
  • Complexion: fair neutral
  • Eyes: boring brown
  • Hair: dark brown (over the grey), coarse, naturally curly but treated with keratin

Veuve

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Re: "Grey Pride"
« Reply #22 on: February 20, 2011, 08:26:41 PM »
Zuzu, work environment was a topic that Anne Kreamer covers in Going Grey. She talked to a lot of people in the course of writing the book (and did some of her own "research"). She was stunned at how much workplace discrimination there was against women with grey hair, especially in the tech industry. Much more so than on the dating scene. She went into it expecting the reverse.
Women always try to tame themselves as they get older, but the ones who look best are often a little wilder.-- Miuccia Prada
www.shopquotidienne.com

Kelly

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Re: "Grey Pride"
« Reply #23 on: February 20, 2011, 08:50:45 PM »
She was stunned at how much workplace discrimination there was against women with grey hair, especially in the tech industry.

 :(  I afraid in high tech, grey = old, and old = old ideas. It's an industry that is constantly evolving, so it cannot afford any appearance of being stagnant.

Unless, of course, you are a man.

milla

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Re: "Grey Pride"
« Reply #24 on: February 28, 2011, 05:22:44 PM »
Here's a video I found about going grey. I really like this woman's look:
http://advancedstyle.blogspot.com/2010/01/jenny-goes-gray.html
I found this in a blog called Advanced style. Check it out it's fun!

http://advancedstyle.blogspot.com/

Veuve

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Re: "Grey Pride"
« Reply #25 on: February 28, 2011, 07:12:53 PM »
milla, I love Advanced Style, and Jenny is fabulous! I've posted a bunch of stuff from there over on the Fashion Board if you're interested.
Women always try to tame themselves as they get older, but the ones who look best are often a little wilder.-- Miuccia Prada
www.shopquotidienne.com

ddgattina

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Re: "Grey Pride"
« Reply #26 on: February 28, 2011, 10:37:14 PM »
Agree that, like many things, this varies by individual.  And I disagree with the notion (no on said this here, but I've heard it expressed by others) that one's natural colors are always best. Unfortunately, I am one of those women with a warm yellow toned complexion, and my hair color has always been too cool and ashy for my skin.  Ditto my gray.

My ex used to fret every time I got a haircut--longer was always better in his opinion. But when I threatened (as a joke) to stop coloring it and go gray he said "Fine.  Just don't cut it." And he cited several examples of women with gray hair that he thought was beautiful.  As long as it was long hair.  I think he is typical of many (most?) men. But I do think it is true that the corporate/job world has a different attitude. 

Fortunately, at home hair color is really good these days.  And inexpensive. And easy. 

cara4art

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Re: "Grey Pride"
« Reply #27 on: February 28, 2011, 11:01:35 PM »
"Agree that, like many things, this varies by individual.  And I disagree with the notion (no on said this here, but I've heard it expressed by others) that one's natural colors are always best. Unfortunately, I am one of those women with a warm yellow toned complexion, and my hair color has always been too cool and ashy for my skin.  Ditto my gray.

My ex used to fret every time I got a haircut--longer was always better in his opinion. But when I threatened (as a joke) to stop coloring it and go gray he said "Fine.  Just don't cut it." And he cited several examples of women with gray hair that he thought was beautiful.  As long as it was long hair.  I think he is typical of many (most?) men. But I do think it is true that the corporate/job world has a different attitude. 

Fortunately, at home hair color is really good these days.  And inexpensive. And easy. "
- ddgattina

I couldn't agree with you more, and I'm one of those with the warm complexion. Interestingly enough, when I was younger and had near-black hair naturally, people asked me if I colored it(I wasn't coloring it back then). But as a kid I had natural red and gold in my dark brown hair - it only got near-black just before it started turning grey. Anyhow, now that I HAVE color in my hair, rich reddish-brown/auburn medium colors, people are surprised to hear that I color it it looks that good(even if I do say so myself and I do do my own color jobs). And yes, the home formulas are a lot better now. The companies are always working on their formulas and conditioners and if one follows directions and doesn't just douse the head with color every time for the whole 30 minutes or whatever, one will do just fine.

All the time, in a different part of the country where people tended to "go natural" a lot more, I would see women who were determinedly going grey with warm complexions and they'd ALL look washed out. But a lot of these people were also very determined about giving up any vanity too, since there were a lot of divorcees who were "finding themselves" and did not care about their appearance at all. I know this sounds severe, but it was true! I actually had to hide the fact that I wore makeup and colored my hair, and even that I was interested in any kind of style LOL! However, the ones who were cooler-toned were much more successful in greying and indeed some looked lovely. Again, very individual!

For yours truly, since I'm in the warm camp, I'm sticking with the bottle for a very long time.

Veuve

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Re: "Grey Pride"
« Reply #28 on: March 01, 2011, 01:13:28 AM »
I have a warm-toned friend who has grey hair and it looks gorgeous, so I think it depends more on the individual. Some people have a lovely shade of grey, and nice texture to boot.  But if someone really likes their hair the way they color it, why not? Although if I find that my natural shade of grey washes me out (which it did when it first started coming in, it looked very dull), I'll tweak it to a more silvery shade. But I no longer think having grey hair is a big deal-- it's the cut, care, and style that really matters.
Women always try to tame themselves as they get older, but the ones who look best are often a little wilder.-- Miuccia Prada
www.shopquotidienne.com

milla

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Re: "Grey Pride"
« Reply #29 on: March 01, 2011, 08:58:18 AM »
milla, I love Advanced Style, and Jenny is fabulous! I've posted a bunch of stuff from there over on the Fashion Board if you're interested.
Thanks, I'll have a look!

Veuve

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Re: "Grey Pride"
« Reply #30 on: March 01, 2011, 03:37:46 PM »
milla, I think most of the pics are in the "Style Icon/ Inspiration" thread, and also there's a mention in the "Idiosyncratic Fashionista" thread.
Women always try to tame themselves as they get older, but the ones who look best are often a little wilder.-- Miuccia Prada
www.shopquotidienne.com