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Author Topic: Wedding casual?  (Read 3892 times)

Styyna

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Wedding casual?
« on: March 19, 2015, 09:57:24 AM »
I'm trying to wrap my mind around what would be appropriate for mother of the groom that is "wedding casual." The men are wearing button down shirts and slacks, no suits. The wedding is at 5 pm outside of a cabin on a lake in northern MN.

I don't have a clue what to think about, much less what to look for. I think I will have to wear flat shoes as I'm afraid heels might sink into the ground. I've done a little looking around and so many of the summer dresses that I've found are either too formal or too youthful.

Does anyone have suggestions for styles and/or where I might look. Incidentally, I'm hoping to drop a few pounds before the wedding but to be safe whatever I look at should be available in up to a size 16. Thanks in advance for any advice!
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SusanG

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Re: Wedding casual?
« Reply #1 on: March 19, 2015, 12:11:12 PM »
No suggestions for dresses (yet), but an alternative to flats would be wedges. They have flat bottoms to avoid that stuck-in-the-grass situation, but a little (or more) height for a sexy leg!
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Styyna

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Re: Wedding casual?
« Reply #2 on: March 19, 2015, 02:49:16 PM »
Wedges! What a great idea. Aren't they supposed to be a bit more stable than heels, too? I haven't worn heels in years and I don't want to be wobbly. I'll have to pick out a dress and shoes in advance so I can practice walking in them! Thanks, SusanG!
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To be kind to all, to like many and love a few, to be needed and wanted by those we love, is certainly the nearest we can come to happiness. - Mary Stuart

SusieQ

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Re: Wedding casual?
« Reply #3 on: March 19, 2015, 04:19:45 PM »
Not much help here, I'm afraid.  :(  I've never been to a casual wedding but that sounds really nice, though. I can't wait to hear what the other ladies have to say or suggest.  :popcorn:
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ILuvLucy

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Re: Wedding casual?
« Reply #4 on: March 19, 2015, 04:52:19 PM »
No suggestions for dresses (yet), but an alternative to flats would be wedges. They have flat bottoms to avoid that stuck-in-the-grass situation, but a little (or more) height for a sexy leg!

Exactly what I was going to suggest!  Definitely wedges.  And a bare leg.  It's in the summer, right?
Being height-challenged, I wear them all the time.   :grin:
Even my flip-flops have a little wedge.
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Styyna

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Re: Wedding casual?
« Reply #5 on: March 21, 2015, 02:27:50 PM »
I'm on board with the wedges but boy howdy, do I need recs for stores that carry dresses. I've been to the sites of all the big name stores and even if I were willing to pay many hundreds of dollars (I'm not), I can't find anything that isn't too formal or too young. Any store suggestions?
  • Complexion: NW10; slight rosacea; dry
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To be kind to all, to like many and love a few, to be needed and wanted by those we love, is certainly the nearest we can come to happiness. - Mary Stuart

gilberte

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Re: Wedding casual?
« Reply #6 on: March 22, 2015, 01:10:10 PM »
Congratulations!  This sounds like a happy occasion and a chance to see lots of family and friends.  The cabin in Minnesota also sounds beautiful so how cool!  Just to say that mainly I hope you have a wonderful day. 

Maybe a linen shift or simple dress in a color that looks totally fantastic on you?  Linen is both classy and cool, and it can wrinkle without any pain.  MN is usually hot in the summer.  I'd find a linen dress, great earrings or bracelet(s)/simple necklace, comfy sandals or wedges, and remember to wear lots of mosquito repellant.  That's just me ... I spent the summers in MN and was eaten alive!

Quotidienne has great styles. 

http://shopquotidienne.com/clothing/dresses

The owner is on this forum from time to time or you could write her directly and ask her advice.  I know her through the internet and MUA and she has fantastic, minimalist style and is also super-nice and conscious of the issues we deal with being older. 

I still have a linen shift I bought in a thrift store 5 years ago.  It's totally simple but perfect for fancy or plain occasions with leggings or jeans underneath.  I like it so much I made 2 others almost exactly like it in linen in other colors (super easy to sew).  I added pockets and a different neckline. 

Most of all, congrats to the mother of the groom and sending you lots of thoughts for a happy day.


cara4art

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Re: Wedding casual?
« Reply #7 on: March 22, 2015, 09:33:13 PM »
@gilberte: I was thinking similar for Styyna, but didn't say anything. She'd also get more wear out it than just that one occasion. Like you, I'm a fan of linen, especially in a nice color and interesting cut. But then, for myself I do like more artistically-cut and fit clothes. Others may like something a little more classic in cut, which I have the sense that Styyna might like.

Styyna

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Re: Wedding casual?
« Reply #8 on: March 23, 2015, 08:58:40 AM »
I had forgotten about Quotidienne. I believe that is Veuve's business, isn't it? I will definitely check it out! Thanks for pointing it out, gilberte!

As for style, yes, I think something simple would be my preference. Linen would be, as you and Cara pointed out, ideal.

The trick is to find something available online since I live too far from dress shops to shop in person. Places like Quotidienne are just the kind of recommendations I need. I want something that is appropriate but not mainstream. The mainstream dresses are the ones that are too dressy/formal or too youthful. Maybe if I had the same size and shape as I had in my 40s I'd feel differently but for now I'm looking for something without a lot of trim and frills and with a length that at least reaches my knees.

I had to laugh about the mosquito repellent. I think that will be the fragrance of the ceremony because you are so right about how bad mosquitos are in MN during the summer. Especially during the time of the ceremony - 5 pm - they are just coming out as the sun begins to ebb and seem to be particularly voracious.

Many thanks for the congrats, good wishes, and good advice! :)
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To be kind to all, to like many and love a few, to be needed and wanted by those we love, is certainly the nearest we can come to happiness. - Mary Stuart

milla

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Re: Wedding casual?
« Reply #9 on: March 23, 2015, 05:21:39 PM »
  Your son’s wedding promises to be a joyful event and  a lovely party. In general, people feel much more comfortable in smart casual clothes than in very formal clothes (I know I do.)
You could inspire yourself in a celebrity. The person that comes to mind is Judi Dench, because you both have blue eyes and you’ve had your hair cut short. I love her trousers, tunic and long scarf outfits in the film ‘The new exotic Marigold Hotel’.  Something like that would work really well for a summer wedding.
Here’s some of the outfits:

 http://cdn-media.hollywood.com/images/l/judi_dench.jpg
http://www.aceshowbiz.com/images/wennpic/judi-dench-uk-premiere-the-best-exotic-marigold-hotel-01.jpg
http://www.seo-chicks.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/Judi-Dench_2.jpg
http://www.blogcdn.com/slideshows/images/slides/217/031/4/S2170314/slug/l/184777976-1.jpg
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/34/bb/49/34bb4997ad93be21c34282eecf121e6f.jpg

Styyna

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Re: Wedding casual?
« Reply #10 on: March 23, 2015, 07:27:30 PM »
Thanks, milla! Great ideas and inspiration pictures. I particularly liked the second and the last outfits. I will expand my horizons to include trousers and tunics. Too bad I'm so rusty with sewing; both garments would be fairly easy to sew. But, rusty I am and I think I have my hands full with knitting anyway. :)
  • Complexion: NW10; slight rosacea; dry
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To be kind to all, to like many and love a few, to be needed and wanted by those we love, is certainly the nearest we can come to happiness. - Mary Stuart

milla

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Re: Wedding casual?
« Reply #11 on: March 24, 2015, 08:03:16 AM »
Glad you liked it. In my view this is a style that always looks elegant. You are lucky because you are quite tall, aren't you, so they  would look great on you. Now  that I wrote this, I am not quite sure if Dame Judi is particularly tall... and she looks fabulous wearing these outfits! My sewing is also very rusty; I have made a couple of tank tops last Summer, but I haven't done half as much as I had planned before retiring. One of the reasons is the price of fabric and the difficulty in getting hold of it. Years ago, I used to buy remnants in our local market, but that is when we had some clothes factories in this country. Now, there is only a couple of big department stores that still have a fabric department and a few specialist shops in London selling very expensive fabrics.
 If you like the idea of tunic and trousers you could get something lovely a good department store and then splash out on a beautiful silk scarf.

Styyna

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Re: Wedding casual?
« Reply #12 on: March 24, 2015, 08:41:28 AM »
Alas, I'm not tall, only on the short end of average and rounder than I'd like to be (but I'm working on that!). However, that won't stop me from looking at the style you suggested. Comfort is as important as appearance to me and I like the idea of a tunic and trousers with a lovely scarf as a way to meet both criteria.

About finding fabric, can you find it online? There are a number of resources online in the US and most will supply swatches upon request. I should think there might be some in the UK as well though I've not done any research.

I, too, remember when fabric shops were more common. Now my options are a big chain, JoAnn Fabrics, outlet shops, and online. Not that I've done any sewing in years. But one of these days I will set aside my knitting and warm up my sewing machine. One of my favorite knitting forums has a topic dedicated to sewing and just reading about it has me wanting to dive into it again.
  • Complexion: NW10; slight rosacea; dry
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To be kind to all, to like many and love a few, to be needed and wanted by those we love, is certainly the nearest we can come to happiness. - Mary Stuart

gilberte

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Re: Wedding casual?
« Reply #13 on: March 29, 2015, 02:06:01 PM »
Fabric stores are coming back in a small, arty, hip way.  I bought great fabric recently at a shop in Iowa City, Iowa, called Home Ec.  They sell fabric, yarn, and lots of textile arts supplies.  I understand there are shops like this in many US cities now.  Also Purl Soho in NYC, mainly known for yarn and knitting, sells fabric and I've gotten a couple of yards from them of some lovely stuff.

I'm not trying to make sales for Home Ec, but if you want to see what fabric they have I think it's on their etsy page.

milla

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Re: Wedding casual?
« Reply #14 on: March 30, 2015, 09:21:09 AM »
How about a kimono? These are quite easy and comfortable to wear and they can transform an outfit. Here’s an example:
http://uk.monsoon.co.uk/view/product/uk_catalog/mon_1,mon_26/7480710851?skipRedirection=true

They are not difficult to make either. I made one last summer; did not use a shop-bought pattern, because the fabric was not that expensive, but if I was using  good fabric then I would have used a proper pattern.

cara4art

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Re: Wedding casual?
« Reply #15 on: March 30, 2015, 01:09:51 PM »
@gilberte: I'm glad to hear that, about the fabric stores.:) I think in part this is because a number of people are getting totally TIRED of the absolute ocean of poor-quality clothing that's out there right now, and no one feels this more than mature women. So people are beginning to sew again!:) Plus there's a contingent of people who are doing great things with reconstructing recycled clothing.:) This parallels the fact that yarn stores were failing for awhile but in recent years they have come back what with younger urban knitters leading the way. But I've been knitting on and off(mostly off in recent years but hoping to change that)since art school, and all during the years when it wasn't cool to do so. Now, if I could only get past the fact that sewing machines and I don't get along, I'd totally be in alignment with making some simple, but interesting tunics for myself out of nice material. My basic "uniform" is layers anyway that includes said tunic, which are getting harder to find, especially nicely-made cotton or linen ones, either knit or woven. I'll have to go check that Home Ec place on Etsy to see what's what. Online fabric stores can be a godsend for those who don't live near any, or the only one within striking distance is the fabric department at Walmart LOL!

gilberte

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Re: Wedding casual?
« Reply #16 on: March 30, 2015, 03:15:10 PM »
You're right -- the young urban knitters have led the way here.  I'm sure there is a similar store in SF, I just don't know what or where it is.  A friend in Philly said there's a big one there that's really popular.  Home Ec and other stores often give classes in all fabric arts, including sewing, and they have sewing machines for rent by the hour, which is just fabulous for the average person today who does not have a sewing machine.  I have cousins in Iowa City which is how I know this place, but I just love it, and order from them because they'll send things by mail quickly and this is sometimes easier than the hassle of going to a fabric store in person.   I agree about the horrid poly fabrics that are on most ready to wear dresses today -- big yichchchchc.  Polyester is the worst in summer and doesn't hold up to many machine washings.  Japanese fabric manufacturers especially are coming out with really cute designs, many of them sold at places like HomeEc and Purl Soho.  Fabrics at these places are not necessarily cheap, but I buy 1-2 yards and sew a couple of seams, hem and voila, a dress or tunic!  I love tunics, also, so good for all seasons, with or without leggings, jeans, or tights, a cardigan or over a t-shirt. 

I got really interested in linen after seeing the linen sheets at merci, a expen$ive shop in Paris.  They are in beautiful muted pastel colors.  If you google 'linen fabric' (or whatever fabric you're looking for) you'll find decent retailers and they'll often send samples for a small price.  But, yeah, upcycling older clothes bought at thrift stores or found from the forgotten pile in your own closet is the least expensive way to sew, and there are, as you know, gorgeous things at thrift stores for those with the time to search. 

Sorry, Stynna, we have completely hijacked your thread.  Are you finding anything at Quotidienne?  My original idea was that even if Veuve doesn't have anything now that might suit you she knows lots of small-scale dressmakers and could point you to something that you'd like.  When you find something will you let us know?  I'm just curious and know you'll find something gorgeous.


Styyna

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Re: Wedding casual?
« Reply #17 on: March 30, 2015, 06:48:37 PM »
Gilberte, no worries about the direction of the topic. I love knitting and am eying my sewing machine again so I found the topics highly interesting.

I haven't seen anything at Quotidienne that struck my fancy and haven't yet reached out to Veuve. I need to learn more about what the mother of the bride is wearing before I go too far in my quest. There is a shower next month at which I believe I will meet the bride's mother and hopefully have an opportunity to chat briefly about these things.

I've continued to look at lots of smaller sites as I become aware of them and have found a few that have some pretty summer dresses that I think might be appropriate. Hopefully as spring stock gives way to summer stock I will find more, too. I've also been looking at tunics and, upon Milla's latest suggestions, kimonos. In other words, I haven't ruled anything out yet.

I'm sure that eventually it will come down to a few selections and I will share those here and ask for everyone's opinions. I trust the fashion sense of the TTB beauties!
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To be kind to all, to like many and love a few, to be needed and wanted by those we love, is certainly the nearest we can come to happiness. - Mary Stuart

Styyna

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Re: Wedding casual?
« Reply #18 on: June 02, 2015, 06:16:35 PM »
I have finally settled on an outfit. I've tried on dresses and outfits until my head hurts. I've traveled miles in my search and ordered boxes of dresses shipped to my home.

Today I went to J Jill and came home with a linen sleeveless top in moss, an ankle-length knit skirt in black, and pretty jewelry to add some glitz. I'm looking at some black flats from Zappos. Oh, and they didn't have the matching cardi in my size in stock so I ordered that to have in case it gets cool. With an evening wedding outdoors in the north woods we have to be prepared so the list of things to bring includes mosquito spray, umbrellas, and sweaters.

The good news is two-fold: One, I can now focus all my energy on the wedding and the weekend;  two, I will be able to wear my new outfit over and over again.

I'm sure there will be oodles of pictures as the photographer was the single largest budget item for the wedding so I'll share a picture when they are available.
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To be kind to all, to like many and love a few, to be needed and wanted by those we love, is certainly the nearest we can come to happiness. - Mary Stuart

ILuvLucy

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Re: Wedding casual?
« Reply #19 on: June 02, 2015, 07:38:06 PM »
Yayyy!  It sounds so lovely & perfect, Styyna. And I really like J.Jill.   I can't wait for the pictures.  :D
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SusieQ

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Re: Wedding casual?
« Reply #20 on: June 02, 2015, 09:00:07 PM »
Yayyy!  It sounds so lovely & perfect, Styyna. And I really like J.Jill.   I can't wait for the pictures.  :D
Ooohhh, what she said!!!
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milla

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Re: Wedding casual?
« Reply #21 on: June 03, 2015, 01:21:58 PM »
Sounds like the perfect outfit! Moss is a lovely colour for someone with your complexion and hair colour. You are going to look very chic!

Styyna

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Re: Wedding casual?
« Reply #22 on: June 03, 2015, 01:47:36 PM »
Thanks everyone for the encouraging comments. :)
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To be kind to all, to like many and love a few, to be needed and wanted by those we love, is certainly the nearest we can come to happiness. - Mary Stuart

Cougar

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Re: Wedding casual?
« Reply #23 on: June 06, 2015, 12:48:48 PM »
YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.  I want pics.

Today I went to J Jill and came home with a linen sleeveless top in moss, an ankle-length knit skirt in black, and pretty jewelry to add some glitz. I'm looking at some black flats from Zappos. Oh, and they didn't have the matching cardi in my size in stock so I ordered that to have in case it gets cool. With an evening wedding outdoors in the north woods we have to be prepared so the list of things to bring includes mosquito spray, umbrellas, and sweaters.

The good news is two-fold: One, I can now focus all my energy on the wedding and the weekend;  two, I will be able to wear my new outfit over and over again.
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Styyna

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Re: Wedding casual?
« Reply #24 on: June 06, 2015, 01:19:44 PM »
Cougar! Yay for seeing you here.

There will be pics aplenty from the wedding I'm sure.

I also did some more J Jill shopping for the 4th. I purchased a white linen skirt, a sleeveless navy linen top, and another necklace and earrings. I figure if it gets cool the moss cardi from the day before will be fine.

It's going to be quite the celebration. The bride and groom both have divorced parents and all sides will be well represented. That means I will be seeing people I haven't seen in decades in addition to meeting all kinds of new people. I'm so glad that it's "wedding casual" and not a stiff, formal affair.
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To be kind to all, to like many and love a few, to be needed and wanted by those we love, is certainly the nearest we can come to happiness. - Mary Stuart

SusieQ

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Re: Wedding casual?
« Reply #25 on: June 06, 2015, 01:34:04 PM »
Cougar! Yay for seeing you here.
Yay!!!
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SusieQ

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Re: Wedding casual?
« Reply #26 on: June 06, 2015, 01:34:35 PM »
I can't wait for pictures!!
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Styyna

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Re: Wedding casual?
« Reply #27 on: June 27, 2015, 11:59:27 AM »
Well, the wedding is next Friday and I'm being silly. I discovered I have a light-weight variegated yarn that is perfect with the moss top I'm wearing for the wedding so two days ago I started knitting a simple shawl to possibly wear instead of or with the matching cardi if it gets cool in the evening. As if I don't have enough to do over the next few days! But I'm having a lot of fun knitting and it helps keep me balanced. I do a lot of planning (what to pack, makeup, etc.) while I'm knitting and I keep a list next to me at all times so I can add to it as I think of more things. I'm close to half finished and I have most of today and tomorrow to work on it so, fingers crossed, maybe I can finish it this weekend and soak and block it on Monday so it's sure to be dry by Wednesday.
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To be kind to all, to like many and love a few, to be needed and wanted by those we love, is certainly the nearest we can come to happiness. - Mary Stuart

SusieQ

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Re: Wedding casual?
« Reply #28 on: June 27, 2015, 02:56:02 PM »
Very nice!  I can't wait to hear about the wedding and see some pictures. I think that this is good. You need to keep your mind occupied. I'm sure your mind is going in so many directions that this may be the best thing to keep you focus.   

Don't forget to breath and you know the only thing that matters is that the couple are happy.  One that thing that someone told me on my wedding day is that no one knows what we planned so if things are mixed up or the wrong centerpieces are not what you expected, it's all good.

Big hug!! :bighug:
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Styyna

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Re: Wedding casual?
« Reply #29 on: June 29, 2015, 01:22:39 PM »
You are so right. These upcoming days are special because they are all about celebrating the marriage of my son to a wonderful woman. I am very happy for them.

My scarf was going along at a good pace but I've hit a snag...I've run out of caked (balled) yarn and my DH is too busy to help me turn another skein into a ball.

So I guess it's time to practice my makeup. I'm toying with going with a very natural look, maybe even forgoing foundation. My cheeks are naturally pink these days (in a good way) and my skin is quite even so I'm tempted to use concealer, translucent powder (to tame the shinies from the SPF in my moisturizer), a little blush, eye makeup (very neutral), and a pretty lipstick. That's the look I'm going to practice today anyway. I will, of course, have foundation with me on Friday in case I change my mind. :) Shoot, we're driving so I'll probably have a ton of makeup with me, all just in case.
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To be kind to all, to like many and love a few, to be needed and wanted by those we love, is certainly the nearest we can come to happiness. - Mary Stuart

SusieQ

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Re: Wedding casual?
« Reply #30 on: June 29, 2015, 11:11:08 PM »
 :lol:  Sounds like you have everything under control, Styyna!  Looking forward to hearing all about the big day!!!
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gilberte

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Re: Wedding casual?
« Reply #31 on: July 02, 2015, 01:56:58 PM »
I also like J. Jill and the pieces you've chosen sound wonderful for a wedding.  I also know what you mean about knitting.  When I'm stressed knitting can really keep me on track.  (There was something I read yesterday about how repetitive artistic actions, like painting details, are very, uh, healing & transcendent ... i'll try to find it.  It was a portrait of a Japanese artist.)  A long linen skirt and shell + shawl or cardigan sounds totally gorgeous. 

I realize the day may have been last Friday so I may be wishing you a great day belatedly but I hope everyone had a wonderful time and many years of happiness to the couple. 

cara4art

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Re: Wedding casual?
« Reply #32 on: July 03, 2015, 08:12:15 AM »
@gilberte: just replied to your comment on another thread here.:) I'm with you about the soothing effect of repetitive artistic actions. Currently I'm working on a digital mosaic project(based on one of my watercolors that involves rendering a lot of little tiles to make them appear more 3-dimensional. I'm an old knitter from way back but haven't touched it lately. I've been too stressed one way or another(too involved to get into here, and not due to outer life circumstances). Hoping to get back to it sometime...

gilberte

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Re: Wedding casual?
« Reply #33 on: July 05, 2015, 06:09:48 PM »
Sorry Stynna we're hijacking your thread!   Yayoi Kurasama is the Japanese artist I recently read about who heals through repetitive strokes, but I can't find the article.  She is in her 80s and says that painting repetitive patterns, such as polka dots, soothes the anxieties in her soul.

http://www.ft.com/cms/s/2/52ab168a-4188-11e1-8c33-00144feab49a.html


Styyna

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Re: Wedding casual?
« Reply #34 on: July 05, 2015, 08:42:47 PM »
Hijack away, gilberte. :)

I will mention that I felt completely at ease in my J Jill attire both days. I was comfortable and appropriately attired.

I applied my makeup for the wedding under trying circumstances in the hotel room. The bathroom lighting was terrible and I couldn't get close enough to the mirror to see what I was doing. So I ran back and forth between the bathroom and the natural light at the window with a compact mirror. It took an hour but I think I achieved the "me but better" look I desired. I used waterproof eyeliner and mascara and they didn't budge! I didn't even have to reline my eyes yesterday (the day after the wedding).
  • Complexion: NW10; slight rosacea; dry
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  • Hair: Dark blonde with slight gray, thick, wavy, dry
To be kind to all, to like many and love a few, to be needed and wanted by those we love, is certainly the nearest we can come to happiness. - Mary Stuart

SusieQ

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Re: Wedding casual?
« Reply #35 on: July 06, 2015, 09:29:15 AM »
It sounds like the happy event went really well, Styyna.   :bliss:
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